Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Social Media: A Blessing and a Curse

Recently I read an article discussing the difficulties of maintaining a marriage. A key issue discussed was the impact of social media on relationships. It struck me as being extremely accurate. But it also made me look beyond relationships, and consider the impact of social media on our lives in general.

Social media is both a wonderful benefit, and an incredible burden. Its removed the humanity, from being human. We can digitally connect with anyone in the world, yet we've stopped personally connecting altogether. Wonder how your old friend from high school is doing? In the past you'd call them up, have lunch, etc. Now, just check Facebook.

We're always accessible anywhere, anytime; especially if you're a small business owner. I LOVE the fact my clients/prospective clients can contact me anywhere, anytime using Facebook. My clients will agree. I'm always accessible through social media, and its often times the most efficient way to communicate. My clients' phone numbers may change, but their Facebook stays the same. However some people really struggle with having to "always be on". While I appreciate the business aspect of it, I somewhat struggle with it in my personal life.

It destroys our self esteem. I've seen a quote floating around that says "don't compare your 'behind the scenes' with other people's 'highlight reel'". Incredible observation. We're all guilty of it; both ways.

If someone looks at my Facebook/Instagram; it probably gives the appearance of a world traveler. While I've certainly traveled, this couldn't be further from the truth. I post pictures of nice meals at nice restaurants; but I leave out pictures of times I've eaten from the dollar menu at McDonald's, or eaten a turkey sandwich at home because I'm short on money. We're all guilty.

The other side of that coin is we're all guilty of comparing everyone's social media highlights to our real lives. We look at pictures others' cars, travels, homes, etc. and think: "boy, I wish I was that financially successful".

We look at marriages/relationships and think: "I wish my marriage/relationship was that perfect". I call that the "Wheel of Fortune relationship". When Pat Sajak asks the contestants about their life, they always say "I have a wonderful wife/husband". We know that's not always true. 

In reality, we're all basically in the same boat. We all have our ups and downs. We all struggle. We've all held our breath, and hoped our debit card wouldn't be rejected at the grocery store.

We've all had rocky times in relationships. But no one posts THOSE pictures or statuses. I'm still waiting on the first contestant to say, "I have a husband; and he's gained alot of weight. But he's still OK; I guess." Or "I have a husband, but he won't work or help me with the kids. He sucks."

We all know these things to be true. So why let it effect us in such a way?

My goal for the past few months has been less social media interaction and more personal interaction. Lets put down our phones, log off Facebook, Twitter, etc; and start paying attention to the person across from us, to the people in the room with us, and to the experience we're having. We don't really need a Snapstory of your entire night out; and neither do you. You don't have to Periscope/Meerkat everything. Just enjoy the moment. The memory is far more valuable than the amount of likes it brings on Instagram.

I've been trying, and truthfully, its not been easy. Anyone who knows me, knows I love Twitter as much as any material possession. So its a work in progress. Still, I'm working to return to the days where human interaction was a major part of being human. Where social media was a great tool, rather than a giant crutch. Where we don't feel the need to portray ourselves as better than we are. Where we aren't always "on". Where we can enjoy an event or experience without making the entire night a Snapstory. Where life isn't reduced to the number of "likes".